I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
zippers are such a cool invention
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
