don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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