watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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