i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
