I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
