Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry zoeclaessens hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

It looked like if robin williams had a vagina

Fav 5 804 2972
share tweet
(292): View more from

i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.

Fav 4 792 3604
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(516): View more from New York

I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

Fav 81 5283 1326
share tweet
(510): View more from California

Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.

Fav 15 3792 1368
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

Fav 8 1732 2525
share tweet
(209): View more from California

He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia

Fav 10 1001 2307
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.

Fav 3 662 1424
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.

Fav 1 653 810
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport

Fav 0 31 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT