i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dicks are not precious.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
