She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
