our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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