I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
