brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
