i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
