are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
