Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
