But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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