3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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