HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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