Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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