I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
