Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
