they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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