Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
