I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
