I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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