So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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