never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
