Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
