its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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