if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
