i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
