i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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