oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she smelled like a LAN party
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
