when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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