i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
