People in love make me want to vomit
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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