It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
