her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
