i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
