NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
