the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
