Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize