I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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