What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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