drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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