PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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