so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
