i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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