I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
