Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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