so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
