Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
