Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
