You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
