so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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