I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
