Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Boobs speak an international language.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
