I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
