So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
