somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I want to fling myself into the sun
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
