Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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