we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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