If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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