i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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